Von Does Debbie

Maintaining my physique requires a strict, monthly discipline: no processed meats, no pork, brown everything, but the hardest discipline is no cheese. I love cheese just as much, if not more than, sex itself!

To compensate, I use the holiday feasting season to just go to town on blues, sharps, softs, creamy, fatty, beeyooteeful cheese! And boy. Did I overdose like a motherfucker.

Considering I run and bike regularly for fitness, I was like, no worries! Put on a little gut, melt it off by February. But oh no…my body did something completely awful. It didn’t go gut. It went BUNS.

Innocently passing by the bathroom mirror whilst wearing boyshorts, I was mortified to discover there was no break where my butt ends and where my thighs begin! So where I should look like a ? without the dot back there, I look like ∏ !!!

Time to invoke Debbie.*

Before P90X, before INSANITY, before Hip Hop Abs, there was Beach Body. Around 1999, I invested in the omnibus – Thin Thighs, Great Abs, Great Buns, errythang. I swear to you, especially my curvy, thick friends reading this – THIS SHIT WORKS!

Whenever I get the attack of the thunder thighs I put in this DVD. I select Thighs, then I’m greeted by a sweet smiling lady with a taut build but also, diesel legs. We are sistren! Debbie’s sweetness continues as she macerates every aspect of my lower body. By the time I’m done, my hips to my toes are quivering for surrender. Debbie ends the session with, “See you tomorrow!”

Fuckin’ psychopath. I love her.

When I bought this DVD, I was 22 and obese. Now I’m 38 and not obese. I found something that worked for me then and serves me well today!

Got a gig coming up in two weeks, and I’d rather not depend on Spanx to get through the evening (although they are at the ready, awaiting call up), so this is what I’m doing along with my stretches, runs, and rides.

We’ll see how Debbie did me by January 24th!

*All screen shots from Great Body Guaranteed! Copyright D2C 

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