T.V. PARTY TONIGHT! We’ve Got Nothing Better To Do…

I had a week of more achievements than failures, yay!

As one should do, I celebrated that W last Friday night by taking care of Numero Uno. Check out the dinner spread, yo:

tvdinner
That’s right, Daddy…PANCAKES N STEAKS!!! Braised round smothered in Vidalia onions, minced garlic, peppercorns, and balsamic vinegar. Little red potato spud stuffed with butter and cheddar, two flapjacks, and to keep it healthy, a bowl of green beans, covered in cheese! This should get us through the night.

 

BF indisposed for the weekend, so I get to wear my Fat Girl clothes, spread out across the couch and queue up Hulu. It’s an old school TV Party ya’ll!

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Premise is, Ichabod Crane of the classic story is brought back to life in current time, and has to get busy controlling the Headless Horseman and the other Horsemen of the Apocalypse. I tuned in last year because it debuted during spooky Halloween season, but I started to really enjoy the story, especially how they mash up the battle for the republic with witchcraft and supernatural beings. If you haven’t seen this show at all, it’s binge-worthy! Go ahead and add it to your Favorites list.

People tune in for…

Sometimes they cast spells, sometimes they unload rounds. It’s a comprehensive action drama.

But I’m watching for…

jennymills
Jenny Mills is Abbie Mills’ estranged sister, a recent mental health hospital patient, and a trained gun-for-hire. Girl of my dreams!

“I’m a mental patient with a handgun.” ’nuff said.

 

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This show is what I imagine Mitt Romney’s family is like when the cameras aren’t on them. Story takes place in the richy rich part of Long Island, but the way these Crazy White Girls act, you’d think they were on Staten Island! Hats off to the costume design team, too; everyone, down to the subordinate characters, are dressed supa dupa fly!

People tune in to see…

emilythorne
Emily Thorne-Amanda Clarke really, really, REALLY loves her daddy; so much so she kills errybody!

But my eyes are on…

victoriagrayson
Madeleine Stowe CRUSHES IT as the wily Victoria Grayson. Talk about a tiger mom; she’ll literally kill to protect her babies.

I’ve never witnessed such gracious evil! She just stood at the door to let Emily know she broke out of the mental institution and will kill her. Talk about decorum!

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Another ‘Life in the D.C. Bubble’ show, but this one is Shonda Rhimes’ work, and just as fan-building as Grey’s Anatomy. It is frustrating to watch from an experiential standpoint, but I guess the general public needs their delusions that there are people out there, working the Capitol, who are pure of heart. I do love a good comedy!

People are big fans of…

KERRY WASHINGTON
Olivia Pope, the beleaguered Gladiator, whose fundamental flaw is she thinks entirely too much with her pussy.

But I root for…

melliegrant

Mellie Grant is flawed yet fearless. That woman has ambition, motive and drive. She also has the President wrapped around her finger, and a White House that is at her complete service. The First Lady is a reminder to all side pieces: there is NO HOPE for you!

 

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The Bat Boy’s back, but this time, it’s everyone’s Origin Story. I’m a sucker for origins, even though I famously can’t stand Batman. This is worth couch surfing, even binging, if you’re a fan of DC Comics and have yet to jump on this!

Fans of justice relate to…

commissionergordon
The handsome, unrelenting Jim Gordon before we get to know him as Commissioner.

But my ideology mirrors…

fishmooney
She’s getting hers, she’s mowing down the competition, and she’s ridding herself of the inconsequential. Fish Mooney would’ve made Ayn Rand proud.

I thought Jada was perfect as Niobe in The Matrix movies, but I’m really enjoying her in this role; scheming, conniving, destroying, all while dressed to the nines and keeping her nail game tight!

HONORABLE MENTION:

 

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This summer series is my quiet addiction. These women are essentially me splintered in four – their personalities, their clothing tastes, their drama, everything! This past season, my life was crazily mirroring the story line, proving that my bullshit is not even unique. So that’s a calming experience. 🙂

The Sick Critic Awards

I’ve broken a record, folks. This is the longest I’ve gone (six days as of this composition) without being able to hold anything in:

 

 

But ya gotta make the most of these events, right? After all, that’s why they invented Xbox.

Since the room closest to the toilet is the living room, I thought it best to convert my couch to a recovery raft, pillows everywhere, the TV tray stationed at the end of the chaise, so I can optimize my ill state. The less movement, the less yakking. Some gems as I lay in repose:

 

Best TV Show About An Irish Family

This you can find on Hulu.com. I already had been hooked with Season 1, and it seemed the little baby Jesus thought it fit to deliver all of Season 2 the same week I go under. Stars Chris O’Dowd, who pretty much epitomizes the kind of guy I’m into: tall, handsome, hilariously goofy and not American! Everyone cast in this show is delightfully insane.

 

Best Documentary About Fucking and Dying

I always thought it a bit suspect that syphilis was supposedly brought from the Americas to plague Europe. Here, we find a couple of congenital syphilitic twins in the mass grave that is Pompeii, which, if proven true, then that means syphilis was indeed the WHITE MAN’S DISEASE. Reparations!

 

Best Animated Performance Involving A Butterfly

I don’t know where I was when The Venture Brothers originally came out – I do remember watching Robot Chicken quite religiously – but I’m so glad I discovered this cartoon. With the Season 2 opener using Rozalla’s “Everybody’s Free (To Feel Good)” I’m a convert. A fuckin’ FAN.