Pt. 1 of 3: The Wingman Preliminary

[NOTE: Got big news for you, but why just blurt it out when I can make it a three-part reveal? 😛 Here’s an attempt at flash NON-fiction…]

julesandvegaSitting cross-legged on the oak bench allowed what little breeze there was to enter between my thighs, a tender gesture of cooling relief to the genitals after walking the length of Central Avenue.

“The thing is, it’s been a long time since I traveled with anyone across the country. Thirty two states I’ve done completely on my own. But when I did have someone I could travel with, it was nice. I liked the company. That’s why I’m putting it out there; I need a wingman. A travel buddy. I figured since you’ve been trying to get out of town for awhile and you really don’t care where you’re going, as long as it’s outside Florida, I should give you a try, you know, see if you can really hang the way I need you to hang.”

She nods with understanding, then cranes her neck.

“You see, I have severe trust issues, like, SEVERE. I’m always the go-to person, the rely on person, the one who has to start and end the fights, you know…”

“The Protector type.”

“Right.”

“I can see that about you.”

“Well, I’m a practical person.”

Her order arrives but she’s not touching it. I float my left hand over her tray and insist, nonverbally, she start, but she waves me off, nonverbally saying, I can wait.

“You have to understand when I’m out on my own, I do whatever I want. I engage whoever I want. I plan to be in a state of constant discovery. If not discovering new places and scenery, then discovering how far over the edge can I push someone.”

Now that was a deliberate line because I want to see her reaction. Instead, she offers this:

“I can tell you’re the kind of person who does things within reason.”

“Yes.”

“And if you can reason an action, you’ll do it.”

“Also yes. And I need you to go along with it, see? Something’s going down, I give you an instruction, there’s no time for discussion, you do it, you’re in, you’re out. Just like that.”

“Uh huh.”

“Like, if I call your phone, you NEED to pick it up.”

“Right, because if we’re travelling together, what other reason can there be for you to call?”

“Exactly! And if I’m on the other end and I say, ‘go to the car, get the tire iron, bring it to me now!’ you gotta do it.”

Her face turns up, and she makes a half snarl, half sneeze expression to her right side.

“I’d come back with like, seven tire irons because I wouldn’t know which one you’d prefer.”

Left fist into right cupped hand signaled confidence in this proselyte possible progeny.

“Right! And if I only need one, you throw the rest!”

She stands and mimics one crazed urban ninja, tossing tire irons like shurikens.

My order is delivered to the table. The tattoo-sleeved, dark-haired, bearded fella would have been flirtable had I not caught the flatness of his ass.

I part my meal, she divvies hers, and we share plates across the table…

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