Shields Up, Swords Down, Invoke Sister Code


This is a tough day.

The day prior, I spent two hours assessing all that’s brought me to the case that I am today, and with the unlock of that vault, the visions, the faces, the incidences all start rushing back to the limelight. My mind, always going, always processing, is working this fresh batch of latent emotion into the combine, making last night’s dreamscape a Who’s Who of nightmares.

I woke to terrible news having nothing to do with me.

The worst feeling a woman can have, the loss that’s uniquely our own to bear. While I couldn’t reach her I reached out, knowing she’d fallen, and she needs to know she can depend on me. I’ve done a horrible job demonstrating reliability recently, but it doesn’t change the rules of Sister Code.

We women consider ourselves independent and self-reliant, but it is in these moments regarding motherhood that sisterhood must be invoked. It is the loneliest place to be, the mind, when the womb is in trouble, and it is unfortunate that even the most sympathetic, caring male in our lives can’t possibly understand what it feels like…the loss of the light within.

I kicked myself hard for paying more attention to a female antagonizer then following up with my friend yesterday, somehow my lack of check-in caused this. She’s scared out of her mind and I’m conducting a senseless war?

Drop my sword on my e-enemy, rush to raise my shield over my beloved friend, and block the arrows volleying her way. That is sisterhood.

3 thoughts on “Shields Up, Swords Down, Invoke Sister Code

  1. Unfortunately, I know this lonely place you speak of. My heartaches for any women who has to endure the pain. No words can comfort or bring light to the darkness within… I wish you and your friend stregth and peace.

    Blessed sister, beautiful one
    with broken wings.
    Your journey is a difficult one
    that no mother should have to endure.
    Your path is steep, rocky and slippery
    and your tender heart is in need of gentle healing.

    Breathe deeply and know that you are loved.
    You are not alone,
    though at times, you will feel like a
    desolate island of grief
    Close your eyes.
    Seek the wisdom of women who have walked this well-worn path before you,
    and before,
    and before you yourself were born.
    These beautiful ones
    with eyes like yours
    have shared your pain, and
    weathered the storms of loss.

    You are not alone (breathe in)
    You will go on (breathe out)
    Your wings will mend (breathe in)
    You are loved (breathe out)
~ Mary Burgess

  2. Thank you for the well wishes and this incredibly poignant poem.

    And I feel I need to correct myself. I stated in my post, ‘…it is unfortunate that even the most sympathetic, caring male in our lives can’t possibly understand what it feels like…the loss of the light within.’
    If *I* read it and took it as mean-spirited, someone out there may have as well, and I wasn’t trying to be cruel or pin the blame on the male in this woman’s life. The men in our lives are adept at sensing loss, can and do contribute to recovery, and are wonderful people to have in the fold during these trying times.

    It is a singular physical feeling specific to a womb, not a specific EMOTIONAL feeling.

    I either clarified or made things worse, but I hope ya’ll get what I mean.

  3. Not that my opinion or take on what you wrote matters but I didn’t take that to sound mean spirited. The fact is, while men can be sympathetic and supportive, they cannot truly understand the physical aspect, and the emptiness that follows.

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