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Too Big For My Britches

Original Post Date October 09, 2013 at 11:00 AM

Technical difficulties send Von back to the draftboard.

Technical issues, all day, every day this week! It started with a video call with my family, and my cousin informing me my Patch blog link doesn’t come up at home. She lives in Panama (the country, not the beach up north) and she and others over there can’t read about my antics. If they can’t read it, then people in Germany can’t read it, the guys in Afghanistan can’t read it, shoot.

Then I received a return email from our very own St. Pete Patch editor, William Mansell, regarding the want to adapt my blog for different Patches in Pinellas County. His answer, emulate same post with an individual account where I want to be. Tedious. I reminded him I couldn’t embed videos in the body of the posts. William (Will? Willy? We never got informal) said all it needed was a refresh to the page. You can look at “Grace Under Fire” and see the short code in full; even if you refresh all day, it’s not showing the video. Argh.

onthemic1I designed a music-centric post with the intention of embedding the videos related to the conversation I wanted to have with you. I logged into my YouTube channel, typed in one of the artists, and when I hit play, I got no audio. I noticed the speaker icon had an x beside it. Must’ve disabled it somehow, right? Checked my settings, visited the video manager, and there was a copyright issue. “Third party dispute,” was the phrase highlighted beside my video. To borrow from my friend Sonia’s catalog, “What the WHAT!?” I clicked on it to read further, and some organization claimed to own the song I sang in the video. The random organization cited “We Was Crazy” as the infringed composition. Huh? The song I sang is “Crazy,” by Patsy Kline, written by Willie Nelson, recorded in 1961. I highly doubt “We Was Crazy” was rockin’ the airwaves back then. Erroneous, erroneous claim! I shouted to my YouTube screen, and I prepared to dispute it formally, but trying to be time-sensitive, opted to just click Acknowledge and move on. The restoration of audability didn’t occur til close to 6pm.

What a mess. I have a marketing distribution list, a Twitter account, a channel, a blog, scattered all over the 0s and 1s. Like the time I pulled on Gina’s pants and they stopped below my big butt: I’ve grown too big for my britches. This is a good sign, growth means progress. It means interest in my art. So it’s time to collect all these sources of information and put them in a clean, dynamic, global portal under the brand Von Simeon. I planked down the finski to register a domain name, and will use the rest of October to get it organized for ya. Until I say so, keep checking in here. If you’d like a direct announcement, please email vsenterprisesfl@gmail.com with the header “add to distribution.”

My Editor Made Me Do It!

Original Post Date February 28, 2013 at 12:54 AM

Handing over a manuscript to an editor is easy in theory, a metaphysical meltdown in practice. 

2013-02-27 15.42.28

2013-02-27 15.09.49It wasn’t when I updated the file in Schrivener.  It wasn’t when I selected File > Compile and created a PDF document of the manuscript.  And not even when I uploaded the PDF to the Print Online page at fedex.com.  It was when the long ponytailed FedEx Kinko’s assistant slapped the 391 page spiral bound document on the counter at the 3rd Street location that it happened.

A minor panic attack.

I felt the vessels in my neck pulsate.  My heart began to race.

First draft.  Book One.

Trace and I will meet on Friday to hand over my soul.  This is what it feels like, anyways.  The most intimate interaction I’ve had in the past three years, now revealed.  The comfort of living esconsced in the throes of written word, occupied by nothing more than pen to paper, finger to keyboard, now disrupted.

This is personal.  This is me saying, not only do I have a story to tell, but a story worth sharing, a story that brings up questions, answers others, and reveals the depths I’m willing to submerge.  This is fantasy, yes.  These are fictitious characters.  But they were housed in me.  The handing over of that relationship to my editor feels like ending a relationship wtih someone you genuinely don’t want to see go.

And thus, the panic.  The anxiety.  My friends that lived in my head, danced across my notebooks, are going to live with Trace for a while.  She’s gonna treat them well, I know.  But will they remember me when they come back?  Oh, the uncertainty!

Uncertainty (U) + Fear (F) + Anxiety (X) = Angst (A).

And so there I will be until I get round one of edits returned in a few weeks.

Breathe into the belly, one…two…three…four.  Hold.  Acknowledge the space in between.  Exhale from the top down, one…two…three…four.

To add to angst is the establishment of a web presence.  Let’s explore the ontology of that for a moment.  There is presence, as in, existence of fleshy form acknowledged by other fleshy forms.  Then there’s web presence, as in, existence acknowledged in digital form, the being translated into 0s and 1s.

I pride myself in existing “off the grid” these last three years, but the wise Trace insists a web presence is vital to commercial success.  Not only must I share my playmates but I must be omnipresent to do so.

U + F + X = A

Breathe into the belly.  Hold.  Exhale from the top down.

This blog will be my main “web presence” portal; I’ll update this weekly.  Please connect with me on LinkedIn athttp://www.linkedin.com/pub/von-simeon/66/597/6b7 and @VonSimeon on Twitter.

Facebook page is a work-in-progress; I’ll let you know when it’s up and running.

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