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Sweet Lurline, Did You Just Pet Me??

Here I thought I had a sure project: a handyman I met through my neighbors eager for me to work with him on increasing visibility for his mobile business. Currently he’s using Craigslist, but wants to get beyond that in order to attract a more reliable clientele and demonstrate credibility. That’s super easy, I said, then brainstormed ideas on how he could turn his small space into a busy business.

We had a planning meeting over breakfast, where I asked a bunch of objective-building questions. He answered generously and eagerly, occasionally expressing gratitude for pursuing this work. At one point he noted, “You ask a lot of questions, like you’ve done marketing before.” I smile at the compliment to my meticulousness then shared my various experiences working with small scale to national organizations pre-social media. Now, using my enterprise, I have the capacity to help small scale organizations merge into the SocMed arena of marketing. It really ain’t that hard, but requires objectives and goals. What it always comes down to is, ‘are you trying to grow your business or your likes?’

Oh, you wanted me to grant your wishes? Nuh uh.

Later I reviewed my notes – got a list of business goals and links to current ads – but didn’t capture his full name. Oops! Once I have him set up on the major SocMed sites, I want them pointing to him, not me. I don’t mind managing them, I remember saying; ultimately the business would be ran by these tools and not his one phone that he’s always looking at and answering when it rings. But, can’t get to Instagramming without the necessary details right? Left a phone message for the client. Texted him directly.

A week passes.


He ghosted me.

Of course, something may have occurred personally which delayed his ability to return my call, I can take that as an excuse. But who in this modern society carrying a smartphone can’t return a phone call or text message in under a week?

Once again, got stung by the good ol’ “I have no intention to pay you.” All expectations, no action, and how come it’s not free? This is what being a small business owner smells like.

This very handy post came in Sunday night, which helped toss the marketing project in the mental wastebasket: FB_IMG_1440949260710So busy trying to secure the Next Big Project, I forgot I have my own unfulfilled project to deal with: get my book back on Amazon. Right now, you can’t buy a print-on-demand nor an e-book from them, thanks to my butthole former publisher, but I failed on the follow through, not completing the necessary due diligence to keep the book in rotation.

This week my one novel deserves my attention. I shall keep you posted on how that works out. In the meantime, Nook Press has a downloadable e-book for $2.99 and there’s an awesome soundtrack on SoundCloud, which I highly recommend you give a listen.

Have a great week!

Marry Me Already!


Grateful for the sun, this tan, and YOU.

You guys absolutely RAWK.

I put up my announcement, you show your support in kind. Faith in humanity restored, thanks to you!

The lemonade stand is up! When you log into Facebook today, type in I Blew Up Juarez in the Search box, and LIKE LIKE LIKE my Book Page!

Happy Friday!

My Editor Made Me Do It!

Original Post Date February 28, 2013 at 12:54 AM

Handing over a manuscript to an editor is easy in theory, a metaphysical meltdown in practice. 

2013-02-27 15.42.28

2013-02-27 15.09.49It wasn’t when I updated the file in Schrivener.  It wasn’t when I selected File > Compile and created a PDF document of the manuscript.  And not even when I uploaded the PDF to the Print Online page at  It was when the long ponytailed FedEx Kinko’s assistant slapped the 391 page spiral bound document on the counter at the 3rd Street location that it happened.

A minor panic attack.

I felt the vessels in my neck pulsate.  My heart began to race.

First draft.  Book One.

Trace and I will meet on Friday to hand over my soul.  This is what it feels like, anyways.  The most intimate interaction I’ve had in the past three years, now revealed.  The comfort of living esconsced in the throes of written word, occupied by nothing more than pen to paper, finger to keyboard, now disrupted.

This is personal.  This is me saying, not only do I have a story to tell, but a story worth sharing, a story that brings up questions, answers others, and reveals the depths I’m willing to submerge.  This is fantasy, yes.  These are fictitious characters.  But they were housed in me.  The handing over of that relationship to my editor feels like ending a relationship wtih someone you genuinely don’t want to see go.

And thus, the panic.  The anxiety.  My friends that lived in my head, danced across my notebooks, are going to live with Trace for a while.  She’s gonna treat them well, I know.  But will they remember me when they come back?  Oh, the uncertainty!

Uncertainty (U) + Fear (F) + Anxiety (X) = Angst (A).

And so there I will be until I get round one of edits returned in a few weeks.

Breathe into the belly, one…two…three…four.  Hold.  Acknowledge the space in between.  Exhale from the top down, one…two…three…four.

To add to angst is the establishment of a web presence.  Let’s explore the ontology of that for a moment.  There is presence, as in, existence of fleshy form acknowledged by other fleshy forms.  Then there’s web presence, as in, existence acknowledged in digital form, the being translated into 0s and 1s.

I pride myself in existing “off the grid” these last three years, but the wise Trace insists a web presence is vital to commercial success.  Not only must I share my playmates but I must be omnipresent to do so.

U + F + X = A

Breathe into the belly.  Hold.  Exhale from the top down.

This blog will be my main “web presence” portal; I’ll update this weekly.  Please connect with me on LinkedIn at and @VonSimeon on Twitter.

Facebook page is a work-in-progress; I’ll let you know when it’s up and running.


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