Category Archives: Poetry
[NOTE: I joined a new writer's group! This group differs from the old one, in that these writers are eclectic in personality, diverse in style, and disciplined to work, which is what I prefer in a group setting. Our first meeting was fun. Here's one of the 12 minute writing prompts we did; enjoy!]
Concept: A meteor is about to strike our planet, decimation of our known civilization is certain! React to the news…
My fellow Americans, Armageddon is upon us. I will not speak to you as your President, but as your neighbor. I too am terrified, of what shall become of our homes, of the natural life, and of the art we cherish. And since I have the world’s attention right now for the next 11 minutes, I’d like to go ahead and share a few things. First, I need to apologize to Ms. Jackson. It was me, not Henry, who pushed Melissa off the monkey bars. I watched as Henry got swatted over and over, tears streaming down his red face, eyes of disbelief pleading to me to tell the truth. It has haunted me this entire life and I’m glad to relieve myself. Next…I confess…I looked down Sara’s shirt in Shop class all period long. She never caught me doing it, but I know I was a total sleezeball.
Alright, let’s forget the grade school stuff. This war currently in the Middle East? Well, it’s ongiong because I lost my shirt at the White House poker table! Yup, it was me, Dubya, Dicky Cheney, Donnie Rumsfeld, Metta World Peace, and Rhianna. Me against Donnie, chips high, and I lose, two sevens to his three 9s. I thought I had a good bluff, America! So yeah, you parents of soldiers battling out and losing lives over senseless interference? That’s all because of double 7s. Whew! This is therapeutic.
Okay, another one. Me, Putin and Cameron had an ultimate three way at Yves St Laurent’s former terrazzo in Marrakesh. We called it a ‘peace summit’ but really, it was all about gettin’ a piece of SOME ASS! Also, I tried LSD and I like it. I should’ve pushed for an increase in research funding because frankly, if we were all stoned right now, I think we’d be taking the end of the earth way way better.
In closing, I’m gonna roll a spliff and cheef in the Oval Office, because I’m the Chief of State, and the state I’m in merits cheefing. HA HA! This is why they got a guy to write my shit, oops, STUFF, oh hell, who the fuck cares about decorum! I’m gonna take off my clothes now…EVERYONE GET NAKED AND START FUCKING!!
President, out! <drops pen like a mic>
Original composition 9.7.14
[NOTE: HAPPY FREDDIE MERCURY DAY! En homage to my demigod, here's an updated draft of a poem I wrote in self-loathing three years ago. :) Remember, if you share, CITE!]
Freddie Mercury, if you’re listening
I speak to you shrouded under palm and cypress
sticky-skinned from tropical torrential rain
In repose, reflecting on recent regrets
wondering…do I want to live forever?
Hard rain sounds a snap snap snap against the window
metering my manic thoughts,
my Moet and Chandon, not in its pretty cabinet, but rather, bottle empty in my weakened clutch,
whilst wailing under tears, “Can anybody find me somebody to love?!”
Am I home Freddie?
Does the fat bottomed girl deserve another turn in the buccaneer bay?
I just want to ride my bicycle
but my soul wants to burn up the sky
like she’s Mr. Fahrenheit
Oh Freddie Mercury…
how do I make a supersonic woman outta me?
Original Composition 9.3.11
Property of VS Enterprises
You music lovers need to be following Mik Mob’s Music Mass! Sometimes I get lucky enough to catch the ‘fresh’ posts and listen to some DIAMONDS like DJ Assault!!
‘Ass-N-Titties’…WOW…that’s taking it back to the house parties! If you weren’t spinnin’ Ass-N-Titties at your party, well…you never *really* had a house party. ;)
May I also please encourage you to follow with, ‘Dick By The Pound’…
Hello friends! On April 4th of this year, I released my debut novel, I Blew Up Juarez. Proudly, I sold several copies and ran out of printed books!
I intended to put out the next “book” this holiday season, but I have another idea, and this is where I need your help!
On AUGUST 31, 2014 I’m sending out a quick survey for all readers of I Blew Up Juarez via email to collect your thoughts on how the story continues, even if you’re not finished reading the book! Exciting, right?
If you are interested in becoming a participant, please send an email titled “FOCUS GROUP” to email@example.com by AUGUST 30 so that you’re included.
It will be a bcc interaction, so don’t worry about your individual opinion being lost in the mix.
I value your insight. Thanks!
Author, I Blew Up Juarez
This is a SPECTACULAR Craigslist ad in all ways, shapes and forms! If you have the time, I encourage you to read all the way through, but I direct your attention to Paragraph 3 in particular.
Proofread before hitting OK, folks…PROOF BEFORE HITTING OK…