Category Archives: Philosophy

Remember Anthrax?

anthrax

There’s precautions, and then there’s dumb what-if scenarios with danishes laughing at you from a distance.

Turn on any information communication device, and you will know, for a fact, undeniably, you are dying from Ebola TODAY.

Helluva job these media folks are doing scaring the bejeezus out of the simple minded. I did help myself to a chuckle, as the first U.S. case was in jolly Dallas, Texas! I spoke to a former work colleague the same week the Ebola case was unfolding, someone who still resides in Texas, and I told her, “You can have it! If any state is better qualified to re-enact Contagion, Texas is it!” followed closely with a, “Glad I left when I did!” Then I asked my former co-worker, “Do you remember anthrax…?” To which she offered a begrudged, “Ohhh…”

Allow me to elucidate.

After the World Trade Center attacks in 2001, every single industry set out to fortify its defenses; physically, numerically, and gigabyte-ly. IBM was flooded with anxious IT administrators and company executives seeking whatever adaptation necessary to keep their servers online. During that time, I worked for the team which specialized in disaster recovery – we created customized fail-over servers, we employed network migration to re-build fried servers, we developed off site data storage solutions, along with many many other skillful tactics to preserve data integrity –  and the September 11 attacks had us on overtime, literally. There were no such moments as a call-free pager duty. Everyone on my team was working minute by minute to deliver.

Then the envelope thing happened.

IBM’s focus shifted from fortifying its clients to protecting its own. As these emergency situations go, objectives were laid out by the Big Bluers, trickled down to the middle range, and then (mis)interpreted by the floor managers. Our team manager, bless her heart, was already a skiddish woman for a WWF Raw fan. The added responsibility of training us snarky bastards on identifying and reporting anthrax gave her hives.

I recall us sitting in the conference room, at that ubiquitous parabola surrounded by squeaky chairs, wondering why they put the assorted breakfast danishes way on the opposite side of the table and not in front of me, as would be convenient. The manager had us listen to a recording, and from that recording, determine if we were experiencing a possible threat to the office. A round of comical roasts and burns of each other in an emergency situation derailed the manager’s attempt to bring us back to line. We could not take this serious even if she paid us to!

From same recording, we needed to identify key noises in the background that would help us, if in danger, to identify the person on the other line making the threat. I may have heard a passing train, but the growls from my stomach overshadowed her attempt to engage me. I dunno, after more than two bomb threat evacuations in my life, I’m just not a good scare tactic reactor.

The division I worked involved four camps: Research Triangle Park, NC; Atlanta, GA; Dallas, TX; Austin, TX. I was in Austin at the time. We snarky ones had found out over the grapevine that someone at RTP called in sick, claiming anthrax exposure. IBM, I imagine to protect the staff, made it mandatory for the person to stay home more than two days.

We snarky ones liked the sound of that.

Slowly, like a large-faced daisy losing its petals, the most rebellious of our team employed the anthrax cough and subsequent call-ins to get out of work. Yes, I know, it’s terrible to monopolize on a serious infection, especially when so many people were harmed or died, but frankly, we didn’t give a damn. We just wanted a few days off, and if saying the A word was going to get middle management to sign off on sick leave, why the hell not? You would’ve done it too, don’t even try to be pious right now!!

I played the A card. But I only took one day off. ;)

 

 

T.V. PARTY TONIGHT! We’ve Got Nothing Better To Do…

I had a week of more achievements than failures, yay!

As one should do, I celebrated that W last Friday night by taking care of Numero Uno. Check out the dinner spread, yo:

tvdinner

That’s right, Daddy…PANCAKES N STEAKS!!! Braised round smothered in Vidalia onions, minced garlic, peppercorns, and balsamic vinegar. Little red potato spud stuffed with butter and cheddar, two flapjacks, and to keep it healthy, a bowl of green beans, covered in cheese! This should get us through the night.

 

BF indisposed for the weekend, so I get to wear my Fat Girl clothes, spread out across the couch and queue up Hulu. It’s an old school TV Party ya’ll!

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Premise is, Ichabod Crane of the classic story is brought back to life in current time, and has to get busy controlling the Headless Horseman and the other Horsemen of the Apocalypse. I tuned in last year because it debuted during spooky Halloween season, but I started to really enjoy the story, especially how they mash up the battle for the republic with witchcraft and supernatural beings. If you haven’t seen this show at all, it’s binge-worthy! Go ahead and add it to your Favorites list.

People tune in for…

Sometimes they cast spells, sometimes they unload rounds. It’s a comprehensive action drama.

But I’m watching for…

jennymills

Jenny Mills is Abbie Mills’ estranged sister, a recent mental health hospital patient, and a trained gun-for-hire. Girl of my dreams!

“I’m a mental patient with a handgun.” ’nuff said.

 

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This show is what I imagine Mitt Romney’s family is like when the cameras aren’t on them. Story takes place in the richy rich part of Long Island, but the way these Crazy White Girls act, you’d think they were on Staten Island! Hats off to the costume design team, too; everyone, down to the subordinate characters, are dressed supa dupa fly!

People tune in to see…

emilythorne

Emily Thorne-Amanda Clarke really, really, REALLY loves her daddy; so much so she kills errybody!

But my eyes are on…

victoriagrayson

Madeleine Stowe CRUSHES IT as the wily Victoria Grayson. Talk about a tiger mom; she’ll literally kill to protect her babies.

I’ve never witnessed such gracious evil! She just stood at the door to let Emily know she broke out of the mental institution and will kill her. Talk about decorum!

scandal-TV-Show

 

Another ‘Life in the D.C. Bubble’ show, but this one is Shonda Rhimes’ work, and just as fan-building as Grey’s Anatomy. It is frustrating to watch from an experiential standpoint, but I guess the general public needs their delusions that there are people out there, working the Capitol, who are pure of heart. I do love a good comedy!

People are big fans of…

KERRY WASHINGTON

Olivia Pope, the beleaguered Gladiator, whose fundamental flaw is she thinks entirely too much with her pussy.

But I root for…

melliegrant

Mellie Grant is flawed yet fearless. That woman has ambition, motive and drive. She also has the President wrapped around her finger, and a White House that is at her complete service. The First Lady is a reminder to all side pieces: there is NO HOPE for you!

 

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The Bat Boy’s back, but this time, it’s everyone’s Origin Story. I’m a sucker for origins, even though I famously can’t stand Batman. This is worth couch surfing, even binging, if you’re a fan of DC Comics and have yet to jump on this!

Fans of justice relate to…

commissionergordon

The handsome, unrelenting Jim Gordon before we get to know him as Commissioner.

But my ideology mirrors…

fishmooney

She’s getting hers, she’s mowing down the competition, and she’s ridding herself of the inconsequential. Fish Mooney would’ve made Ayn Rand proud.

I thought Jada was perfect as Niobe in The Matrix movies, but I’m really enjoying her in this role; scheming, conniving, destroying, all while dressed to the nines and keeping her nail game tight!

HONORABLE MENTION:

 

mistressestitlebanner

This summer series is my quiet addiction. These women are essentially me splintered in four – their personalities, their clothing tastes, their drama, everything! This past season, my life was crazily mirroring the story line, proving that my bullshit is not even unique. So that’s a calming experience. :)

Idea For The Throne

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Ishtar has many animal depictions, but the standard is the bull. I, a true Taurus, also identify with the bull. This ashtray swiped from the BF isn’t the right civilization, but the ideal design. So, if you come across something opulent and bull-y that compliments my blue, shoot me a link. Thanks!

Sharing

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Writer’s Block @ Community Cafe October Meeting

Creating Ishtar’s Throne

The first move I made after a long summer road trip was slap my tired carcass onto my bed, face first.

I feel my neck bend the wrong way, my shoulder blades touch, and my feet lift towards the ceiling. I muttered into the sunken space, “This is not where a queen sleeps!”

This shitty lump has been in my life since I was rocking Cross Colors and Benetton to school. I took it from my mother’s house before I moved out here; the bed I got from the divorce was too wide for the U Haul. Granted, I’ve been sleeping on it alone, so I’ve been tolerating it, but now that I have a Significant Other Who Stays The Night Regularly, it’s become clear this mattress set is more a torture zone than a slumber pad.

But then, why stop there? I renewed my lease until 2016, so I figure, we could paint! I’ve been admiring a certain blue this year, and I find cobalt blue to be especially stimulating and powerful, perhaps it’s my new power color? I picked up a sample can at the Home Depot and I think I like what I see:

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Isn’t this cobalt just gorgeous?? Thinking of gold stencils along the top, or even painting gold cuneiform a la the tablets of the tale of Gilgamesh.

I read the Penguin Book version of The Epic of Gilgamesh this summer, and I feel inspired to incorporate lapis lazuli, emerald, gold, ruby into my wall design. My eyes are training on lamps, frames, planters, furnishings, that evoke that Sumerian era, focusing on regalia and opulence. I’m calling the bedroom Ishtar’s Throne.

trinkets

These lovely urns would make great additions to my throne! Courtesy abozdar.wordpress.com

perfume

Very eye catching! Courtesy abozdar.wordpress.com

 

As I await the final cool down of Florida so that I can invest a day in rearranging and painting, I’ll be surfing Pinterest and Etsy and other chick sites for design ideas. You, my dear friend, are very much welcome to provide me your design ideas, forward me pics, or point me in the direction of quality fabrics and carpets that evoke queendom and ancient supernatural power.

And of course, I’ll be posting my progress here! So excited!

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This is an old Christian Audigier wrap I hung as an accent piece for my TV wall. These colors could definitely work in Ishtar’s Throne.

Why He Still Rocks

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Why He Rawks

 

 

It’s My Anniversary!

One year ago, I moved from Patch.com to WordPress and never looked back!!

Love my blog. Love all of you who read my blog. Keep reading, I’ll keep writing! :*

blogaversary

Two En Homage To Poe

Like any disillusioned Gen X teen buried in 90’s angst, I drank in Poe’s work like a healing elixir. I embraced my darkness, played with the ‘black dog’, and became enthralled by the beauty of madness. No secret I borrow directly from Poe when I compose my more macabre pieces; in fact, I make sure to mention when I’m channeling Edgar Allan Poe in a composition.

May I not suffer his fate, but if I do, please write a decent obituary, and perhaps, throw in these original poems, inspired by The Master:

Ode to Three Birds Tavern

(Composed 5.31.12)

Once upon a day dreary
wind choppy, sky bleary
I wandered into tavern here
soaking wet, ordered a beer
Soon it amounted to more than one
and out peak’ed the afternoon sun
Kristen sparked the music box right
with rockabilly to delight
the boys in the back pushed the cue
the bartender kept pouring brew
the winds calmed down
the sky did clear
and all of this cause
I stopped for a beer.

Stopping By The Master’s Grave

(Composed 4.4.13)

youandI have been here before
youandI
youandI have spoken in cold air
and youandI were youandI
despite the chill
 
youandI have much in common
youandI
darkness we wear like
a furry cloak in the air of despair
 
will me
towards the black
trust me
to honor your way
your words
your fundamental melancholy
 
youandI have much in common
youandI
I will see you
brother
it will not be too soon.

200 Days Sober

noalcoholsign

 

October 2, 2014 marks 200 days sans alcohol.

How did I do it? Well I tell ya what I didn’t do. I didn’t join some condescending recovery group, I refuse to inflict myself with Christianity coddling AA’ers, nope! I just said, no mas.

I have been abusing alcohol since I was 9 years old. My father was a rabid alcoholic, I was my father’s daughter, I kept the family tradition going. As every cliche public service ad will assert, as a raging alcoholic, you do lose friends, your career is negatively impacted, your home life is wrecked when you insist on solving all your woes with that drink.

I’m not going so far as to say it’s the root of all evil, but I know for me, alcohol does more harm than good. Consider:

Body Weight: When I stopped drinking, I chunked up from binge eating starchy and sugary foods, to satiate my body’s craving for the missing daily dose of alcohol. I focused up, quickly leveled out the cravings, deflated, and now have this crazy small waist! Right now, I’m the leanest I’ve ever been as an adult.

Medication: How odd, the moment I started my anti-psychotic medications, alcohol started to make me ill! Turns out most anti-psychs don’t mix at all with alcohol. So, either we keep the violent drunk thing going or we stabilize and fucking deal with our problems, for the sake of humanity!

Socializing: This is the best out ever; I already can’t stand people, now I *really* can avoid them! Every time people want to hang out, where do they wanna go…? A bar. A restaurant, with a bar. Tailgate parties, where there’s beer kegs and coolers full of alcohol. Poolside, with a floating cooler full of beer.  Now that I’m sober, I have a permanent, get-out-of-stupid-event-free pass!

Dating: I have a boyfriend now. He’s a genuinely decent person. I haven’t been in a romantic relationship sober. EVER. And I’m counting the kid years!

Physique: You can look at pictures of me back in college (I’m sure I’m still trapped in many a Penn Stater or Bobcat’s Facebook album) and compare them to me now; I have morphed significantly! I look 20 years younger, my head’s less swelled, my skin is thinner, and my eyeballs are either bigger, or my eyes were perpetually at half-mast due to inebriation. I’ve shrunk from 5 feet 2 inches to 5′ 1 3/4″. In sum, a much better looking, albeit much more wee, specimen!

and finally…

Common Sense: Alcohol is pricey and an expensive habit to maintain if your social circle includes other alcoholics. Now that I’m a no-alcohol zone, I can spend money on things that matter. Like shoes. And seafood dinners. And shoes. And writing journals. And shoooooooooooooooooooooooozzz!

I raise my Blackcurrant Breeze tea and toast to another 200 days!

 

Wordless Wednesday: Secret Places

shroud

Afternoon shroud

hideaway

A great place to write.

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