Category Archives: Flash Fiction

“Bipolar Is The New Gay”

Today we’ll move the pin down one.

The hammies were complaining during the stationary bike warm-up, and now on the leg curls, they don’t wanna move.

“rrrrr…”

I can do this.

“rrr…rrrrrr…”

Look left. Look right. All alone in the gym.

“RAAAAAAA!!!”

There it goes!

Fluid, don’t smack against the arse. Smooth, smooth, smooth…

Ironically, the song I have set for this week’s Turn It Up Tuesday comes on. Fitting, as we’re moving now to the quads.

I growl through upper body presses, then sigh towards the padded stand.

Lower ab leg curls.

As I stabilize my position to bang out crunches, a heavily obese woman enters the gym. She’s got proper gym clothes on, her water bottle is filled, and she’s motioning towards the cardio machines.

I’m so proud of her, showing the lazy skinny punks how to self-care. Her arrival encourages me to push through side crunches, to the point of making my injured right hip sing.

We did it.

I take my time giving Bobby his weekly bath, and suddenly I remember, I HAVE THERAPY TODAY.

I rush him so I can shower. He’s visibly relieved.

As I happen to swipe my smartphone screen, I notice the misread: two thirty not twelve thirty.

Oh.

Ah!

We’ve got time for pancakes!

2:36PM I arrive at the therapist’s office.

“I left the house an hour ago, I swear! Time always works against me…”

We shuffle into the room.

I remove a copy of Night Walkers from my purse. “You might recognize someone in there.”

She chuckles, then proceeds to read my short story, Tokyo Rose.

She looks up. “Metaphorically, what am I examining with this first page?”

“Consider it…the event horizon of a suicide.”

She laughs at the right parts, marvels at the word play, notes my editorializing. I’m pleased that she gets it.

After she’s done, I review with the therapist how this work stems from the memory of my last suicide attempt, now four years ago.

“What does this mean for you now?” Alluding to fame, fortune, popularity.

“It’s me confessing my truths. I put the work out there, because, mainly, I’m not long for this world.”

She mentions Stevie Smith and Nick Drake. I mention Michael Angelakos.

“So it seems that…knowing you’re not long for this world, helps you be part of it?”

“Right.”

I tell the therapist I’m visiting with a spiritualist to understand further the metaphysical dynamic of my existence. As we speak, I’m thumbing through a copy of the DSM-V. She encourages my interest in the science behind psychosis, but reminds me, the DSM is a tome put together by psychiatrists under the influence of pharmaceutical companies.

I mention the show happening tomorrow. She’s visibly proud, but sees I’m not.

I then recall the last time I had a grand event occur involving my art, I ended up in the HPU.

Knowing this, we design a skeletal plan of approach: “How are you going to keep safe?” I offer my initial strategy. The therapist approves of my suggestions. “Give yourself permission to refuse anything that you know will upset you. Allow yourself to be emotional, if you have a reaction.”

“Just remember…you can express yourself, just don’t touch anybody.”

“Right.”

I flip to Bipolar Disorder. “I wish We weren’t the new bogeymen.”

“Boo Radley.”

“Yeah.”

I smirk. “Bipolar is the new gay.”

“We should start making T-shirts. ‘Bipolar Is The New Gay’!”

“Yes.” I clasp my hands, “We just want to belong.”

She laughs. “You’re going to be alright.”

Sigh. “I know.”

Time’s up.

I can do this.

Support Your Favorite [Adjective] Poet This Saturday!

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As per Keep St Pete Lit ~10AMEST: Tickets are almost completely sold out!

Purchase My Ticket Now

Fantastic Ekphrastic! Two Shows, One Von…Be There!

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Super emphasize: tix must be purchased, I ain’t got none! :P

Purchase My Ticket Now

My First Feature!

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Buy Me A Christmas Goose!

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Courtesy: funny-or-die.com

Feelin’ exceptionally gifty and philanthropical? Consider supporting your favorite independent author/publisher with the cute face and phat ass! :D

  • My debut action fiction novel, I Blew Up Juarez, is a sweet 99 cents until DECEMBER 26th. Since it’s self-published, I get all your pennies!

  • My horror short story, Tokyo Rose, is the opener to Night Walkers, a horror/terror anthology. Order now and get 35% off all Horrified Press print books (including its imprints) via Lulu.com Checkout code WQT32 valid through DECEMBER 3rd.

Thank you! Love you! Appreciate you!

Tales From The Notepad, Part Deux

Slow week, huh? Not really trying to work or start anything new, huh? Well, do I have the best time-wasting post for you! :D

Revisiting my last successful and hilarious account of actual Inkpad Notepad app entries, I’m plucking out the most outrageous, spanning last summer to early 2014. Just like last time, I offer poems, quotes, and dialogue with just enough explanation to validate my insanity!

Poems

You guys love these raw, visceral displays of vulnerability…

Quotes

Dialogue

You get the sense I spend most my awake hours perpetually screaming in anger, spewing flames, like that mine shaft in Pennsylvania. What’s the name of that place again? Gotta be somewhere in my notes…

Who’s The Big Winner? Von’s The Big Winner! YAAAY!

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My traditional end-of-writing-a-massive-novel routine starts with this full body breakdown…join me won’t you?…

Dedicated To My #NaNoWriMo Peeps…Week 3 = DONE! :D

Special dedication to all first-time WriMos writing a novel, like it’s never been done before…

Finished? CONGRATS! Almost done? Keep on keepin’ on!! I believe in you! :D

Happy Florida Bookstore Day!

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My friends Wordier Than Thou have organized the *inaugural* Florida Bookstore Day, starting this November 15th! Support your local, independent bookstores, take advantage of the events and specials in your area, and hug a Florida author! Okay, that last one was just me soliciting PDA. ;)

More info please visit: https://www.facebook.com/FloridaBookstoreDay

Just a snippet of the participating locations:

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Night Walkers: A NaNoWriMo Success Story

Usually by mid-Week 2 of NaNoWriMo, the WriMos in my immediate vicinity start to peter out for various reasons. Before you join them my dear, lemme share this true-to-life story that will keep you in the saddle.

Don’t worry, it’ll be quick. ;)

I started participating in National Novel Writing Month back in 2012, after a good friend of mine suggested we participate in it together from our respective places on Earth. In 19 days, I managed to hammer out The Black Parade, and I was really proud of the effort. That personal achievement boosted my creative energy and pushed aside the trappings of my ego, providing me the freedom to deliver a manuscript to a local independent publisher.

By the time NaNoWriMo 2013 ramped up, I Blew Up Juarez was in the hands of my editor, getting polished for a February 2014 debut.

For NaNoWriMo 2013, I teamed with my writing partner, Marie, to put together a psycho-terror work. I’ve never written horror before, let alone have an interest in horror films (Human Centipede? Really??) but Marie, a fan and writer of horror, encouraged me to enter that wormhole. When I showed her what I was working on, she shared, “You really can write horror!” Now I know that comes off as Marie stroking my cock, but Marie doesn’t stroke cock unless she really means it, and THAT’S WHAT MAKES HER A GREAT WOMAN. So, happily, I championed Momma’s Boy for my second halo.

This week, Thirteen Press released Night Walkers, a horror anthology featuring authors from around the globe, and Little Miss Stretchy Pants over here is in it!! :D I’m the first short story, which is cool; the opening act now, maybe down the road I’ll be the grand finale! But again, by persevering and completing a NaNoWriMo competition, my work isn’t in the bowels of my notebook backup routine. I’m bonafide!

So hey, buddy, I know you’re feeling like folding the cards and collecting your chips, but please please consider the why of it from the get go: you love to write. You LOVE to write, and you HAVE to write. You’re amongst like-minded and weak-willed artists; lean on us! Who cares about the word count, just get the story out. And then, maybe later down the line, when you’re up to it, you’ll get published, and then NaNoWriMo is no longer a competition…it’s a refresher course. ;)

STICK IT OUT! KEEP ON WRITIN’!!

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Von Simeon joining the NEW masters of the dark!

 

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Opening act now, main stage later (more sooner than..)

 

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First page! Gotta admit, kinda feels awesome. :)

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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