Category Archives: Fashion

All Sold Out! See You At The Show #iloveyou

image

Support Your Favorite [Adjective] Poet This Saturday!

fantasticekphrastic

As per Keep St Pete Lit ~10AMEST: Tickets are almost completely sold out!

Purchase My Ticket Now

Fantastic Ekphrastic! Two Shows, One Von…Be There!

fantasticekphrastic

Super emphasize: tix must be purchased, I ain’t got none! :P

Purchase My Ticket Now

How To Write A Thank You Letter

Axiom: People who provided you a gift, directly, within this past holiday season, for whatever reason, qualify for a ‘thank you’ in voice or written form.

In voice is absolutely the best, especially if more than a year has physically separated the two of you. Written is a close, artistic second, in that you HAVE to use paper and whatever liquid you write with – Blood of the Damned is good, I lean towards Tears of The Foresaken m’self – and…you have to use words that auto pop from your thoughts. Ooh.

This is tough because your thumbs are not hitting a keypad. This is tough because you can’t click on a Like and be done. This is tough because the Internet can’t do it for you. This is you acknowledging a human being and beaming out from your belly that you CARE.

Rule 1: Do NOT let more than two weeks pass before emoting/composing a thank you. It looks like you don’t care. Yes, we know you don’t care, but don’t emphasize it by letting time slip by!

Rule 2: Don’t ask why. Do ask how. This is where your buddy Von comes in.

My credentials: a faithful reader of Miss Manners throughout childhood, a teen-aged reviewer of the smattering of social decorum guides provided by Il Mama, and several years’ experience composing cordial correspondences for big suits, tenured profs, and a couple of Star N Bar maniacs!

Here’s the order of events:

1: Standard greeting

2: Thank you sentence

3: Gift acknowledgement

4: Empowering statement

5: Close

6: Adverb

Don’t get too verbose; think Hemingway over Faulkner. Here’s one I’m flinging off the top of my head:

1: Hello Mabel,

2: Thank you for the lovely card and wonderful gift.

3: A gas card is a hot commodity for an SUV driver like me!

4: It’s nice to know you care about my safety on the road.

5: May the New Year be filled with new and exciting adventures for you!

6: Fondly, Bubba

See? Super easy. And…super respectful. Remember the last time you received a handwritten letter? Now, can you imagine how your handwritten letter is going to blow your gifter’s mind? Especially if you’re the type who’d rather update his Facebook status than say hello to the person standing next to him? Keep ‘em guessing, I always say. Doing the unexpected to express appreciation is the sexiest thing one person can do to another with clothes on. ;)

Now let’s do a real one together. This goes to Lani D, the Blogger Outreach Coordinator at East Dane clothing company..

eastdane2.jpg

Why do the boys get to be comfortable? Love my new top! eastdane.com

wpid-20141231_124558.jpgDear Lani D,

Happy New Year! Thank you for the gift certificate, and what perfect timing; I scored a cozy Cheap Monday knit sweater to replace an eyesore of a cardigan.

This contest was a great way for me to learn about East Dane. Your site is bookmarked for future visits!

May you continue to experience happiness and excellence throughout 2015.

Sincerely, Von Simeon

Two weeks from December 25th is January 8th, so get those Thank You letters out quickly! 

Swept Aside

showstopper2

All me! Divide scalp into two segments. Use two inch flat iron with barrel to force curls while straightening roots. After bottom segment is done, push it over to your style side and pin. Topside, press as usual but then sweep over and stack curls on top of each other. Pin in place and spray the bejeezus out of it with freezing spray.

All summer long, my naturally curly tresses stayed in various forms of braid. Not only is this a way to combat Florida’s famous humidity, but a natural means to encourage growth. Results: three full inches of new growth, softer kink, and even layers!

Why heap pounds of hair onto your scalp when you can suck it up, be patient, and grow it out healthily? Think long term ladies (and gents of the stylish way)!

The Crowd Pleaser

Every event has its own outfit. Every outfit contributes to the show. I didn’t learn this from a fashion magazine, I learned this from a grown man wearing an arrow through his head!

stevemartin_tucec9

Courtesy Tumblr user tucec9

Steve Martin wants to get you to dance the King Tut? He throws on a Pharaoh’s crown. Needs to prove to you he’s a normal (crazy) guy? Steve Martin pushes on bunny ears! He doesn’t do it to feel complete; he does it to engage his audience. In person, he’s quiet, introverted, and even distant, as I read about him years ago. Kindred I feel, and thus, do my best to emulate.

Given the choice of sitting on a couch listening to talented storytellers, or, standing under spotlight to tell a tale, I’m likely to be in my baggy sweats, legs curled under me, rapt in attention. But, there are moments when the crowd becomes the crowd pleaser. My most recent event found me wrestling with that discomfort: while I enjoy writing and I love my stories, I’m worn out from stage life and the spotlight. However, if I’m trying to profit off my art, I gotta do the arty thing and get on stage with it! Yikes.

For me, it’s not a nerves thing. It’s more of a fun-ed out thing; the more time I spend reading completed art, the less time I’m spending on incomplete work and I’d rather invest my time at the computer screen. So, when I find myself wrestling with the duality of solitary writer/crowd performer, I settle my nerves with a simple question: WWSMD?

Steve Martin would coat, shellac, paint, tighten, sculpt, mould, highlight, tweeze, press, scald, twist, puncture, squeeze, and freeze spray for SpookEasy! Here’s what two solid hours ended up with at my vanity:

showstopper

Nothing 49 coats of mascara and a set of Spanx can’t fix!

Since I read from Night Walkers, a Horrified Press anthology featuring ‘creatures of the night’, I dressed as a glamorous gangster, and introduced myself as ‘Queen of the St Pete Underworld’ before launching into my short fiction, “Tokyo Rose,” a story of a woman’s slow, terrifying downspiral during an evening at a martini bar. I am actually not sure when the book will be released, but I imagine if you visit their Amazon page, you’ll be able to find it eventually. See?? Proof that I’m not into the marketing end of things!

You do performances to keep people abreast of your art, but you be a writer – you exist as a solitary individual ensconced in the deep folds of imagination, preoccupied with hours upon hours of unrelenting play, to create what brings you joy, and, maybe, develop that creation into a format worth sharing, should you choose to do so. Being is so much easier than doing, but doing can be a delight!

Here’s a few pics with me as The Glam Gangster, courtesy of Community Cafe’s Facebook Page:

10407689_742072935842570_7846613856453020294_n

SpookEasy host Monika sharing her 2012 short story. There’s me, stage right with Meg, another performer for the evening.

63964_742072969175900_7701645682337686358_n

Performed Tokyo Rose, then ‘Stopping By The Master’s Grave,’ then switched ‘Ode to Three Birds Tavern’ to ‘Ode to Community Cafe’ en homage to Ms Mandy, the cafe’s owner.

 

10670113_742073015842562_3573872213122822128_n

The glam breaks through the darkness. :)

Also went ahead and got some head shots taken before the eyeliner seeped into the crow’s feet! :D I’m using this one as my new Avatar. Ya like??

showstopper1

Von Simeon as Queen of the St Pete Underworld

 

 

 

Creating Ishtar’s Throne

The first move I made after a long summer road trip was slap my tired carcass onto my bed, face first.

I feel my neck bend the wrong way, my shoulder blades touch, and my feet lift towards the ceiling. I muttered into the sunken space, “This is not where a queen sleeps!”

This shitty lump has been in my life since I was rocking Cross Colors and Benetton to school. I took it from my mother’s house before I moved out here; the bed I got from the divorce was too wide for the U Haul. Granted, I’ve been sleeping on it alone, so I’ve been tolerating it, but now that I have a Significant Other Who Stays The Night Regularly, it’s become clear this mattress set is more a torture zone than a slumber pad.

But then, why stop there? I renewed my lease until 2016, so I figure, we could paint! I’ve been admiring a certain blue this year, and I find cobalt blue to be especially stimulating and powerful, perhaps it’s my new power color? I picked up a sample can at the Home Depot and I think I like what I see:

wpid-20141013_163727.jpg

Isn’t this cobalt just gorgeous?? Thinking of gold stencils along the top, or even painting gold cuneiform a la the tablets of the tale of Gilgamesh.

I read the Penguin Book version of The Epic of Gilgamesh this summer, and I feel inspired to incorporate lapis lazuli, emerald, gold, ruby into my wall design. My eyes are training on lamps, frames, planters, furnishings, that evoke that Sumerian era, focusing on regalia and opulence. I’m calling the bedroom Ishtar’s Throne.

trinkets

These lovely urns would make great additions to my throne! Courtesy abozdar.wordpress.com

perfume

Very eye catching! Courtesy abozdar.wordpress.com

 

As I await the final cool down of Florida so that I can invest a day in rearranging and painting, I’ll be surfing Pinterest and Etsy and other chick sites for design ideas. You, my dear friend, are very much welcome to provide me your design ideas, forward me pics, or point me in the direction of quality fabrics and carpets that evoke queendom and ancient supernatural power.

And of course, I’ll be posting my progress here! So excited!

wpid-20141013_165005.jpg

This is an old Christian Audigier wrap I hung as an accent piece for my TV wall. These colors could definitely work in Ishtar’s Throne.

It’s My Anniversary!

One year ago, I moved from Patch.com to WordPress and never looked back!!

Love my blog. Love all of you who read my blog. Keep reading, I’ll keep writing! :*

blogaversary

Wordless Wednesday: Ready For The Show

gettingready

Bibliophiles Unite! Gig Sunday Featuring Your Favorite Madwoman…

Follow

Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.

Join 628 other followers

%d bloggers like this: